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The government is green-lighting ‘friendly intimate contact’ – 17 mixed but funny reactions - the poke

The government is green-lighting ‘friendly intimate contact’ – 17 mixed but funny reactions

The UK government’s roadmap schedule appears to be holding up, with another major step due to take place on the 17th of May. Indoor hospitality can reopen, along with children’s play areas and exercise classes, and limited crowds will be allowed at all sporting and performance venues. But neither pubs nor spinning class was the […] The post The government is green-lighting ‘friendly intimate contact’ – 17 mixed but funny reactions appeared first on The Poke.
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Iggy Pop listening to Sleaford Mods with his dancing cockatoo is as good as it gets - the poke

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the poke - 1 day ago
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The way this dog ferociously holds onto this ball is a very funny watch - the poke

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the poke
‘Who’s the dumbest person you ever met?’ – 13 very stupid people indeed

‘Who’s the dumbest person you ever met?’ – 13 very stupid people indeed

the poke - 2 weeks ago

Over on Reddit, your_neighbor420 had a question.

‘People of Reddit, who was the dumbest person you met?’

And we’re very glad they did because it prompted some very funny answers – and an awful lot of stupid. Here are our 17 favourites.


1.

‘I know a woman who bragged on Facebook that she scored 84 on her IQ test…. She thought it was out of 100.
Mr_Nonesuch

2.

‘My neighbours taking the batteries out of the carbonmonoxide detector because it was making noise almost every day.’
Stoneway933R

3.

‘Ex-girlfriend. I once said out loud “I wonder how dolphins have sex?” She said, with conviction “There aren’t boy dolphins and girl dolphins. They’re just dolphins.” You know, like magical. And she argues with me for about 2 hours.’
OttieandEddie

4.

‘My old roommate. He put an electric kettle made of plastic on the stove. I came upstairs to black smoke as it melted. I threw it in the trash and yelled at him for nearly burning the house down. It has a cord sticking out of it and everything

‘An hour later I came back upstairs to the same thing. Mother fucker went through the trash and put it back on the stove.

‘I get the first time if he’s never seen an electric kettle before but a second time? With the same kettle? A melted fucking kettle? The guy doesn’t even do drugs for fuck sakes.’
Haboobalub

5.

‘My ex-gf thought rhinoceroses were dinosaurs. Then, we were watching King Kong and toward the end of the movie she asked if it was based on a true story.’
AnthropomorphicMango

6.

‘A friends partner said she was vegan. Another friend jokingly said youre not vegan, you eat corn on the cob, which is actually the spine of a cow. Aforementioned friends partner started crying about how much she loved eating cow spine and was really upset, genuine tears of sorrow at how she wasnt a vegan at all.

‘From that day forth, corn was known as Cow spine on the cob and their relationship didnt last for too long.’
Neon_Tusk_of_Camblor

7.

‘A girl I used to work with in a call centre. She used to ask me stuff like why do trees grow upwards? or the sun goes round the earth doesnt it? Then one day she asked me does the earth spin and clouds stay still, or does the earth stay still and the clouds move? I miss you Ria!
RaulTheHorse

8.

‘My former boss was worried that the island of Manhattan would sink with all the extra visitors for New Years and the ball dropping. She thought islands float and when she found out that wasnt true she thought it was so funny that she told everyone the story.’
joao2706

9.

‘Girl in my high school history class thought Mount Rushmore naturally grew like that.’
adamkane13

10.

‘Uncle telling us about a guy he worked with. Guy buys a nice, new car. Car comes with cruise control and built in GPS. Guy wrecks new car.

‘Apparently he typed in an address and set the cruise control… He thought that he didn’t have to drive after setting in where he wanted to go, the car would just take him where he wanted to go.’
CylonsInAPolicebox

11. ‘In third grade, I was talking with another kid about kiwi birds and she proceeded to tell me that those birds laid kiwi fruit instead of eggs.’
s0mestrangeangel

12.

‘Had a friend in HS that could predict rain by looking at the stars….if the big dipper was upside down “the water would pour out and it would rain tomorrow” She was 17.’
Justme124

13.

‘A girl in my class in high school asked the teacher where the sky was. Like she genuinely had no idea and when we tried to explain to her that the sky was above us outside she was like no thats the ceiling.’
Cheese_BasedLifeform

And then there was also this …

‘Holy shit, I’m ready…

‘Let me tell you about this woman that my uncle dated for a while. She was really a special kind of dumb. I’m just gonna go ahead and list the top 3 that I can remember, but I’m sure there’s more. These were all relayed to me years later as I wasn’t around at the time. It’s a running joke between some family members.

‘Thought pork chops came from horses.

‘Met a guy who had lost a portion of his ear in some kind of accident. Upon meeting she just asked him with no class at all: “Hey, what happened to your ear?” His response: “I turned my head too fast and bit my earlobe off.” She was totally cool with that answer.

‘Went grocery shopping and assumed that whatever number of chicken legs came in a pack was how many legs that chicken must have had.

‘There was also something to do with a moose, but I can’t remember the specifics on that.’
Theearthhasnoedges

Phew.

READ MORE

What was the pettiest reason you refused to date someone? 40 funniest turn-offs

Source Reddit u/your_neighbor420 H/T Someecards Images Pixabay

The post ‘Who’s the dumbest person you ever met?’ – 13 very stupid people indeed appeared first on The Poke.

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